Come Here Often? I’m Back – Help Me Take a Stand Against Trolls and Nasty People


After several emails back and forth with Elizabeth (Damomma), I am rewriting this post.  She’d rather move on from this incident, and I don’t blame her one bit.  While I think she and I have different views about this situation, I respect her desire to keep herself on the down-low, so please don’t visit her and take on the trolls who have left comments on her blog.  I cannot let the hideous trolls off the hook, however.  See below.


I’m back, baby, and I’m more mediocre than ever :-)

No, seriously, I’ve been on a nice, long break, and it’s time I dust off the WordPress Dashboard and get this puppy moving again.

What motivated me?  Well, let me tell you.


At first glance, it’s a post by one of my favorite bloggers, Lenore Skenazy.  She is the poster-girl for Free Range Parenting.  I often get a kick out of the crazy are-you-kidding-me stuff she finds, and in general I agree with her philosophy.  Certainly, there are things I don’t agree with.  In those instances, I respectfully submit my opinion in the comments section of her post.

However, as of late, I’ve been disappointed with the tone she seems to be allowing on her blog.

I’m disappointed because I think Ms. Skenazy has something really important to say, that is for the good of all children and parents.  I’m concerned that her message is going to get lost in angry, nasty tone the commentary of her readership often takes.

I am the first one to say that she is IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE for the comments of her readers.  She cannot possibly control or be held accountable for the depreciating level of discourse.  I also believe that dissent and disagreement is important.  I am not a “Yes Man” (as anyone who knows me can verify.  Ahem.).

However.  Lenore can write about what honest, respectful dialogue and disagreement looks like.  She can call out the trolls.  Simply including an addendum at the end of the post requesting that people stay on her blog only is not enough.  Yes, blogs are public, and yes people have the right to comment, yay or nay on posts.  No one, however, has the right to be mean.

Lenore.  I implore you to take a stand against trolls and what amounts to internet bullying.  I hesitate to use that word, because of its current news status, but I believe that is what this is.  It is so important to get your message out there.  Do it responsibly.  I will support you actively and loudly every step of the way.  Don’t let nasty people taint your mission.  You’ll lose credibility and fuel the fire of those who already have it in for you.  Didn’t it suck to be called “America’s Worst Mom”?  ON THE TODAY SHOW?  Please do your part to make sure other people are not treated in the same way.

Please go HERE and leave a nicely worded message on Lenore’s post stating your support for respectful dialogue and disagreement.

Please do NOT leave nasty messages for her or her commentators, no matter how vile you find their comments.  It defeats the purpose of this, obviously.  Please link to this post.  I’d like to engage as many people as possible in this mission.  I realize this is a first world problem, but it’s wrong.  I think anyone who spends as much time online as we do, and considers themselves part of a real online community (as I believe we do), has a responsibility to help put an end to this type of behavior.  We wouldn’t tolerate it in our schools, shuls, or communities.  We shouldn’t tolerate it here.  We would want our children to stand up and defend their friends, family, or even people they’ve never met, against this type of behavior.  We can set an example now.

8 thoughts on “Come Here Often? I’m Back – Help Me Take a Stand Against Trolls and Nasty People

  1. Pingback: HH #295 — And…It’s Tevet « Frume Sarah's World

  2. welcome back =)

    Sadly I make a point of not reading comments on most of the blogs I read due to stupid people behaving badly. Reading both blogs comments just re-iterated the reasons to me.

    All too often, the good points made in the comments are simply drowned out by trolls and bots.

  3. Welcome back, welcome back!

    My opinion here (as both a blogger and an IT professional) is that moderated comments are the only way to go. It doesn’t offend sincere commentors and keeps trolls away. As it has been stated often in many places, there is, exactly ONE way to deal with trolls – do not feed them.

  4. I’m somewhat annoyed that people who don’t agree with Damomma being hyper-suspicious of every adult in her world, including those she calls friends, are called trolls.

    • Nope. Only the people who were nasty, like the ones who told her she was a paranoid lunatic, or suggested she get professional help, or who attacked her children. Oh, and the guy who called her a douche-bag. There were a number of people who politely disagreed with her who were respectful. Nothing wrong with disagreement. Lots wrong with being mean.

  5. What part of publicly calling out another blogger and referring to people who disagreed with your buddy “trolls” qualifies you for the “nice” or “respectful” wagon? “Passive/Aggressive” seems like the proper term. This is one blog I’ve seen enough of in just one post, so you won’t have worry about my returning or the effort you’d have to go to in order to censor my posts. I’ve got better things to do with my time. Just thought you should know that sensible people aren’t going to see you as the nice guy. You owe Lenore a (public) apology.

    • Nope. Did not refer to people who disagree with Damomma trolls. I DID refer to people who called her a “douche-bag” trolls. Because they are. Who calls someone they don’t know a douche-bag? They also said nasty things about her children, which is simply uncalled for. I’ve disagreed with her in a respectful tone – nothing wrong with that! There IS something wrong when people revert to nasty comments to “disagree”. That is not dialogue. That’s just mean. You are, of course, free to read what you like. I’m sorry that calling out mean people makes you uncomfortable. I sincerely do not care who sees me as the “nice guy.” If I did, I would not be blogging. Blogging is clearly not for the faint of heart or insecure people.

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